Negative nan

Why do you always feel the need to put me down? You never have anything nice to say about me. Yet I am your only grandchild that actually bothers with you! I send you texts making sure you’re okay, I call you and I even ask for your help with crosswords, when I know I don’t need too and could easily find the answer, just to give you something to do.
Chloe doesn’t like you at all, she won’t ever say she loves you and Ethan cries at the sight of you. Yet I stick around and you never have anything nice to say about me.
I remember when I was about 17, getting dressed up for a party and there was a guy there, that I really wanted to impress. I put a dress on, styled my hair and did my makeup and Chloe smiled in amazement, “Wow you look like a princess!” For that one fleeting moment, I felt really good in myself… That was until you huffed and made a comment “Yeah, the one from Shrek.”
And things have not got better since, you still manage to pick out any flaws or faults you can see and no matter what I do or how I dress there is always a negative comment aimed at me.
You called me fat. I showed you a picture of my new bikini. “Yeah I like the bikini, but you need to lose weight.” It’s like you can’t give a compliment, without an insult in tow. I said I felt fine and once again you huffed “you definitely need to lose quite a bit off of your tummy!” Why don’t you want me to feel good in myself?
You even upset Chloe, with what you said about me! She was telling you how she was going to get her ears pierced and you told her not to because piercings are disgusting and because I have piercings, Chloe asked if nan thought I was disgusting and her reply was yes! Why would you feel the need to say that about your own grandchild? You don’t understand how much you upset Chloe, it’s one thing insulting someone, but when you insult someone else, that the person really cares about, that can often hurt more!
Yet I still forgave you and agreed to go out to lunch with you and brought along my sister Kaylee and boyfriend. Needless to say he didn’t like you very much. How dare you tell my sister she shouldn’t sit next to me, because my ass is too fat? How dare you tell my sister that hopefully she’ll grow out of looking like me?
And to make it even worse you then went on to insult my face! “You need to buy new makeup. You’re too pale.” Well yes, I’m pale, which is exactly why I wear pale foundation! And when I made the comment that if I wore darker foundation, I would end up looking orange, all that you could say was “Well anything would be better than looking like that, wouldn’t it?”
I don’t know how many more times I can cry and feel bad in myself and I do not know how many more times I can forgive you.


Reasons for my rings.

For quite a few years now, I have always wore the same two rings, both of which have meanings behind them. My mum has just paid £35 to have one of them fixed (half of the bought price,) because of the sentimental value of it.
DSC_0029 I got this ring first, when I was about 12/13. I was about to have braces and before I got them I needed to have four teeth removed. As it is 2 injections per tooth, I had to go through with 8 injections in my mouth. As I have a massive phobia of needles, mum said if I went through with it she would buy me a ring of my choice, within a certain budget and this is the ring I chose!
DSC_0031 This is my second ring, which I’ve had since I was 16. I got it for my 16th birthday, once again, off of my mum. I had all of my presents in the morning and then I received this, as a surprise, later on that day, when we went out for a Chinese. This is the ring that snapped and I’ve just had repaired! It feels so good to finally be wearing it again.


This Is Why I Love My Mum

Her life was planned out; she knew what career she wanted and she was ready to move away from Weston. That was when she found out she was pregnant with me. She was in her early 20’s… 21 or 22, with no partner to support her. She knew who the father was; his name was Dave, but after an on off relationship, they had finally split for good. The family weren’t happy about the pregnancy and she received advice to abort me… But she wouldn’t get rid of her baby. She told my dad she was pregnant with his baby and he didn’t believe her, as she’d just come back from holiday and he thought that she’d slept with another guy whilst she was abroad. Being 20 years old with no kids, I can only imagine how scared mum was at being pregnant at such a young age, facing life as a single parent.

When I was first born, my grandparents took control of parenting me, so mum didn’t get a proper shot at it until we moved into our own little place when I was about two. From a young age I wouldn’t eat and had problems sleeping at night. Mum would have to sit in the kitchen with me for hours trying to get me to eat and sometimes she used to get angry and shout at me, but who can blame her? She must have been scared, especially being a first time mum. I slept with her every night until I was about five or six and she’d have to sit with me until I fell asleep. Me and my dad had a DNA test to prove I was his and when it came back positive, he entered my life, although I carried on living with mum.
When I was four she met someone else and they moved in with each other rather soon, as me and mum were about to lose our house. She got pregnant again when she was in her 30s, with my sister Kaylee. They split when I was 16 and now she’s a single mum of two kids, working two jobs to support us both, yet she never complains about the sacrifices she makes to look after us.


Spider alert 3

After not seeing the spider at all yesterday I thought that maybe it had buggered off! But no such luck. Instead of being on the wall opposite me tonight it is on the ceiling right above where I lay my head. I have moved over to the other side of the bed although it’s not much more comforting knowing that it’s above my feet.

The Vampire Diaries

Death in Mystic Falls

*spoiler alert*

As I live in the UK, we are a bit behind when it comes to American programmes and one of the many ones that I watch is The Vampire Diaries. My cousin, however, watches it online and therefore is ahead of me. She called me up one day saying how I must watch The Vampire Diaries immediately, as there is a shocking death of one of the main characters and she’s been crying her eyes out. I asked her what episode she was on and she said 21 and as I was on 19 I decided I might as well watch the next two online to find out what the big commotion was all about.

Straight away I ruled out Damon Salvatore, Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert, as they are the three main characters and main characters never die, as they somehow all seem to be invincible!

So then I thought to myself, well who could it be then? And I narrowed it down to two other characters, who were also main, but not main main if you know what I mean by that!

The first was Bonnie. She is ‘The Anchor’ to ‘The Other Side’ which means that all dead supernatural beings must go through her to get there. The Other Side is falling apart, due to an escapee and if The Other Side disappears then Bonnie disappears along with it.

The second possibility is Tyler; in the past two series or so, he had not been on it as often so I figured maybe they were trying to slowly write him out of the script, or maybe he was even going to star in The Originals instead.

I watched episode 20 and then began to watch episode 21, trying to work out who was going to die and when. At some point I believed Damon was going to die and I was soo pleased when he didn’t! Finally it came to the death scene and I must admit… I was shocked. R.I.P Stefan Salvatore. Although I’m hoping that somehow they will find a way to bring him back from the dead like they’ve done to other characters on this show many times before!






Spider alert 2

I swear spiders know that I am terrified of them and that’s why they are always in my bedroom! I went to the toilet and upon coming back to my bedroom I had the feeling that I was being watched and decided to inspect all of my walls. It wasn’t until I got into bed that I noticed it was on the wall just above my door! That’s what makes it worse! Usually I’d grab my quilt and sleep on the sofa but I don’t think that I am brave enough to leave my room and risk a spider falling onto my head!


Giraffe kisses dying zookeeper

“Northern European countries have lately been making headlines about giraffes — primarily due to their controversial policy of euthanizing healthy zoo giraffes to prevent inbreeding. But today, the European giraffes are making headlines for something different. In a heartbreaking scene, Dutch giraffes give kisses and say farewell to a terminally-ill cancer patient who spent his entire adult life caring for them.

A 54-year old man, known only as Mario, was able to fulfill his dying wish to say goodbye to the animals he considered family, thanks to the Dutch equivalent of the American Make-a-Wish Foundation. Known as the Ambulance Wish Foundation, the organization arranged with the Dutch Zoo to have Mario wheeled into the giraffes’ enclosure so he could bid them farewell.

The reunion was deeply touching to those who witnessed it. Kees Veldboer, the founder of the Ambulance Wish Foundation, watched as the giraffes clearly recognized Mario even though he was horizontal and wrapped in blankets. In a snapshot that has stirred emotions across cyberspace, Mario lies in his hospital bed while one of his giraffes leans over, sniffs him and then plants a big wet lick on his cheek.

The Ambulance Wish Foundation specializes in taking terminally-ill patients one last time to places they loved or have always wanted to see.” – According to PCA