animals, cat, dogs

Replacements don’t work

When Mum decided to rehome our dog, Izzy, I was devastated. I was going through a grieving process, which I didn’t even realise was possible, considering she was rehomed, not dead, but I found out the fact of never seeing her again hurt just as much as the alternative. Mum couldn’t cope with Izzy. She didn’t like the ‘commitment’ of a dog. She didn’t like the fact she couldn’t go out and do as she pleased whenever she wanted anymore.

Mum’s way of apologising was by getting me a kitten to replace Izzy. I picked out a beautiful calico, which I named Bo. She cried the whole journey home and and was very shy, but she grew to trust us and we loved her.

I still looked out for ‘the yellow van’ that I knew Izzy’s new owner owned, whenever I was out and I decided if I saw him I would confront him and take her back home with me. But I never saw him. Months went by and I learnt to cope without her. The replacement of Bo seemed to work and I forgot about Izzy, or so I thought…

It started at a car boot sale nearly three years later. Everyone was walking around, most of whom had dogs on leads walking next to them. I saw how happy they were and what I was missing out on. I looked down at my own empty hand and felt lost. From then on, I could feel tears prick my eyes every time I walked past a dog. I sunk into grief, would cry all the time. It was like there was a space in my heart needing to be filled.

Today, I still don’t have a dog. I still have that missing piece. But I have learnt a valuable lesson. You can’t just replace something you love.


Tom <3

I find it hard to fall for people, because I know how much it hurts when they leave. I’ve been seeing Tom for two months now and for the first time ever I have had no doubts. He always puts me first. He asked me to go out with him last night and I said no… If only I did, maybe I could have prevented what happened. I got a text at 3’o clock this morning off of his mum to say that he has been in a car accident and is in hospital. He’s going for x-rays and surgery, as he has a broken elbow and some hairline fractures on his backbone. She said that he swerved to avoid a car and hit a tree.
He’s alive.
I’m sat at home petrified, because I can’t get to the hospital to see him, as he is in a different hospital to the one where I live. I have to go by texts his mum sends me, keeping me updated and reassuring me that he is okay. Apparently he is having a sleep at the moment. The worst part is, that I know if it was me in that hospital bed, he would be straight there at my side and I really wish I could do the same for him.
I’m sat here crying, hoping and praying that he is okay and I just wish I could be with him now, letting him know that I’ll be by his side the whole time.

I’m the one on the top middle and Tom is on the right.