Getting over the girl leaving my life after falling for her was hard. And I’m still not 100% out of the situation. She leaves me alone for a while and then every week or so she comes creeping back in for a day or two at a time. I know she’s not the one for me and is playing a game and my walls are up, but there’s still a lot of feels there for her.
Me and my ex decided we’d try for a friendship, but I don’t think it’s working out. He’s gone from putting a couple of kisses when he talks to me to none and deleted or unfollowed me off everything.
But what’s been the hardest is coping with how my family have changed towards me. I’ve always grown up being told that I will be loved no matter who I choose to love, that my parents wouldn’t think anything less if any of their children came out as gay, and yet… that’s not the vibe I’ve been getting. Especially when it comes to my mum.
She constantly tells me that I’m living in a fantasy land. She always had a massive issue when I’d talk to the girl I fell for and we’d argue about it constantly. We had a sit down and she said she’s got no issue with me speaking to women, it’s JUST that certain one. Yet, I have two lesbian friends I talk to all the time and she will cause arguments and roll her eyes when I speak to them. She says that I will realise I’m straight one day. I don’t really like women. It’s a big phase.
She tells the whole family that too. Doesn’t like discussing it. Rolls her eyes while telling them. Tells them I’m definitely straight, but my mind is messed up right now.
Which is really hard because my mum has always been my best friend.
And it’s affected our relationship to a whole new level. We don’t talk anymore, we just argue. Everything about me annoys her. It’s constant shouting matches. Today, I left a sock on my bedroom floor and she went mental and called me a twat. I went out clubbing last night, brought a kebab home and left the packaging next to my bin as I was out of it and now I’m not allowed friends over. She’s already told me I’m not allowed any relationship potentials over. We have two cats and split the day, so she deals with them in the mornings and I deal with them in the evenings. I didn’t go to bed until 6am today as I was out all night and she woke me up shouting at me, forced me to get up and clean out the litter tray at 9am.
It’s not massive things, it’s all these little, constant niggling things. And nothing about me has changed to cause her to be like this except for the fact I like women.
I feel like I can’t be here anymore. That I need to get away. I don’t think she accepts me for who I am anymore.
I don’t know if our relationship will survive much longer with the way it is now.
The Temperamental Introvert 